We are all losing our collective consciousness about the return of beauty and fashion to the millennium bug – the return of the whale tail! Thin eyebrows! Space buns! We’re doing it all again, and we’re doing it the most. Of course, with trends running like a flat circle, it’s always fun to guess what’s coming next. Here’s my request: it’s time for the body to shine.
Glitter has a bad reputation, and it deserves it – it’s bad for the environment, it’s ubiquitous, and it’s all jazz. But body glitter, especially in the early 2000s, was different. Feeling bold, like the first time you and your friends skipped class to go to McDonald’s. There’s no camouflaged body flash, it’s just total nostalgia.
At their peak, body flashes came in a variety of forms: there were giant chunky roll-on body flashes, blue reflective spots encased in a blue viscous liquid produced by what we now know as you Any ingredients that should not be placed near the immune system make up the system, smell what they describe as “blueberry” but never have blueberry smelled or tasted like that, top note is Clorox, bottom note is aspen Patty. But man, you’re the coolest kid in theater day camp when you put it on your arms and legs, and your best friend Lindsay is mad at you because she wants blue glitter and she only Got “stupid pink” glitter, and how would people know you’re Ashley and she’s if Mary-Kate was wearing pink sequins? ! You can’t control the day your mom took you to Claire they only had blue glitter, okay?
There’s the puff style, an oversized cotton puff covered with some kind of “fuzz” where the glitter is mostly trapped in loose but tight tufts that barely get on your skin, but it makes you feel like yourself It was Marilyn Monroe, or Alicia Silverstone in Ignorance. Sometimes the puff is pre-filled with glitter; others are packed in a giant compact, if you don’t gently puff the puff Jump into the puff, and you’re sure to inhale a big mouthful of powder and sequins, and you’re probably still coughing to this day. (You may be entitled to financial compensation under the class action lawsuit.)
It’s great to be alive. Let’s do it again.
The cream that’s truly out of the age of body glitter — Britney Spears is its founder, president and CEO, and will hold that title forever — is the absolutely ridiculous idea of us wanting to eat body glitter. Like, we…we think…
Well, I mean, Salt & Straw makes ice cream fragrances, so. Like, I said, flat circles.
Jessica Simpson at Industria NYC in New York, NY, USA Jessica Simpson celebrates the launch of “Dessert Snacks”. (Photo by M. Von Holden/FilmMagic)
In 2022, it feels crazy to say “Jessica Simpson once had a line of edible makeup,” but we’ve said and will often continue to say even crazier and absurd things. But Jessica Simpson’s dessert beauty needs to be spent in the nostalgic sunshine. I mean, there’s an entire article to write about Jessica Simpson’s deeply neglected legacy in the beauty industry, and how she walks so that the Gomezes/Grandes/Halseys/Keyses of modern beauty can run. In 2004, at Sephora, Dessert Beauty was selling whipped cream with sprinkles for some reason. It’s sweet and a little quirky, just like The Simpsons.
Don’t even get me started with Urban Decay’s Lickable Body Powder. I inexplicably wear it at every high school prom I’ve ever attended. No, I’ve never been attacked by anyone’s tongue, but the sweet caramel flavor and soft bronze sheen are memories I’ll never forget. I held on to that feather puff with fringe for as long as I could, and it even featured in Mean Girls, forming a movie for generations. Urban Decay was discussing the return of LBP a few years ago, and let me tell you, I smashed my keyboard in their Instagram comment. I am begging, I am begging.
NEW YORK, NY – SEPTEMBER 13: Rapper Megan Thee Stallion attends the 2021 Met Gala Celebrating America: A Dictionary of Fashion on September 13, 2021 at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/GC Images)
A few years ago, Rihanna tried to bring back the concept of body glitter with the Fenty Beauty Fairy Bomb Glitter Puff and the Fenty Beauty Body Lava, and that video owes me the space it took up in my head, and I got what I hoped It would start something however – no dice. Megan Thee Stallion is often seen wearing a shiny body that won’t make you giddy.
I mean, we have body shimmers in modern times – trust me, I’m a connoisseur in the body glow department – but they’re more of body shimmers and body highlights, usually with ingredients that are good for your skin and make you look Like being wrapped in gold. They dry quickly, don’t transfer to your clothes, and are good things. I love them and I’m here for them – but that’s not what body glitter looked like in the early 2000s. It’s dangerous, it’s ignorant. I miss wiping a snail-like streak of glitter off my shoulder.
I guess the point I’m making here is that the beauty of millennials is hard and impractical – like many people living in the early 2000s were. I hope we get a little unrealistic again. Body glitter is very inconvenient, haven’t tried anything else. We can all try a little harder.
